© Allison Currie 2014
"Women have it easier than men, they don't have to deal with all the other things men have to deal with. They don't have to pay the bills and take care of other people; they just live off their husbands or child support."
I had a hard time really taking this guy seriously. He had entered the Tricyclical studio during the February open studio day, and I was alone at the time. The crowd had slowed down, and I was sitting on my bench with a glass of wine, my legs folded beneath me and scrutinizing one of my artworks on the wall. I had been trying to think of some way to carry on with that work, when he came in and said "I like that pose!"
He started with objectification. Awkwardly I slid my legs out from under me and sat normally like my parents had tried to make me do all my life. (I've always been a leg-tucker.) I didn't recognize him as anyone from Hardy & Nance, and I haven't seen him since. The tall, paunchy 60ish man with the camera started off chatting friendly enough despite the awkward opener, and somehow got onto the topic of women in the art world. It was stemming from something about a claim that all women photographers just take selfies now, and I was about ready to tune him out but I was raised to be polite so I let him carry on. I shouldn't have.
He must have been drinking a bit, but is that really an excuse? He said that women get all the shows, because women hire other women and they all helping each other out so much its "hard for a man to get a show."
I said that we help each other out because no one else would, and that it's the same kind of thing for minorities. Unsatisfied that I was feeling enough sympathy for men in the art world, he was moved to keep talking. We were alone in the studio, and he was much larger than I was. He wasn't yelling, but was very condescending.
Women depend on men, he said. It's a myth that men dominate the art world. More women get to be artists than men because we don't have to take care of "other things, like a man does." Women have it easier than men, he claimed, because they don't have to deal with all the other things men have to deal with. They don't have to pay the bills and take care of other people; they just live off their husbands or child support. He started to drop names of women he thought of as living off child support; women in the same studio as Tricyclical; women I knew and respected who made beautiful, legitimate artworks.
Being that he was much larger than me, and we were alone, I was not finding my spine and had little interest in engaging with him further. I gave him very dry looks and "Mm-hmm..." noises, hoping he'd wrap it up and get out of my space. He kept reiterating women living off men, and I was acutely aware of the wedding rings on my left hand, feeling very small for a moment and wondering did I do exactly what he was saying. He kept talking in circles for about 15 minutes before stumbling into his own words and ending it uncomfortably, then finally leaving.
With him gone, I was able to find my studio-mate Stacy and talk to her. Her spine was fully present, and I knew talking with her how I was not doing what he claimed all we women were up to. My husband has been laid off 4 times in 2 years, and I try my best to keep us going when I myself have a hell of a time finding work with my shiny new BFA no one cares about. Stacy pays child support rather than receives it. Emily has never had a boyfriend take care of her. I found I was angry with myself for not telling him off, and feeling small instead of roaring.
A man has no right to make me feel small and uncomfortable, especially not in my own space, and unprovoked. If he thinks women have it easy in the art world, and its the men that have it so hard, he should try sitting in the very shoes he had the power to put me in. I highly doubt I could have done the same to him. Mainly because its not in my nature, there's a difference between being malicious and simply being bitchy. And I am not malicious. Misogyny, however, is.
He started with objectification. Awkwardly I slid my legs out from under me and sat normally like my parents had tried to make me do all my life. (I've always been a leg-tucker.) I didn't recognize him as anyone from Hardy & Nance, and I haven't seen him since. The tall, paunchy 60ish man with the camera started off chatting friendly enough despite the awkward opener, and somehow got onto the topic of women in the art world. It was stemming from something about a claim that all women photographers just take selfies now, and I was about ready to tune him out but I was raised to be polite so I let him carry on. I shouldn't have.
He must have been drinking a bit, but is that really an excuse? He said that women get all the shows, because women hire other women and they all helping each other out so much its "hard for a man to get a show."
I said that we help each other out because no one else would, and that it's the same kind of thing for minorities. Unsatisfied that I was feeling enough sympathy for men in the art world, he was moved to keep talking. We were alone in the studio, and he was much larger than I was. He wasn't yelling, but was very condescending.
Women depend on men, he said. It's a myth that men dominate the art world. More women get to be artists than men because we don't have to take care of "other things, like a man does." Women have it easier than men, he claimed, because they don't have to deal with all the other things men have to deal with. They don't have to pay the bills and take care of other people; they just live off their husbands or child support. He started to drop names of women he thought of as living off child support; women in the same studio as Tricyclical; women I knew and respected who made beautiful, legitimate artworks.
Being that he was much larger than me, and we were alone, I was not finding my spine and had little interest in engaging with him further. I gave him very dry looks and "Mm-hmm..." noises, hoping he'd wrap it up and get out of my space. He kept reiterating women living off men, and I was acutely aware of the wedding rings on my left hand, feeling very small for a moment and wondering did I do exactly what he was saying. He kept talking in circles for about 15 minutes before stumbling into his own words and ending it uncomfortably, then finally leaving.
With him gone, I was able to find my studio-mate Stacy and talk to her. Her spine was fully present, and I knew talking with her how I was not doing what he claimed all we women were up to. My husband has been laid off 4 times in 2 years, and I try my best to keep us going when I myself have a hell of a time finding work with my shiny new BFA no one cares about. Stacy pays child support rather than receives it. Emily has never had a boyfriend take care of her. I found I was angry with myself for not telling him off, and feeling small instead of roaring.
A man has no right to make me feel small and uncomfortable, especially not in my own space, and unprovoked. If he thinks women have it easy in the art world, and its the men that have it so hard, he should try sitting in the very shoes he had the power to put me in. I highly doubt I could have done the same to him. Mainly because its not in my nature, there's a difference between being malicious and simply being bitchy. And I am not malicious. Misogyny, however, is.